Too Many Universities Spoil Taiwan's Higher Education

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Too many universities spoil Taiwan's higher education
http://www.chinapost.com.tw/editorial/taiwan-issues/2011/12/15/325903/Too-many.htm
大學學歷基層勞工占比 創新高
學歷通膨博士就業難　薪資僅比碩士高1成7

“Should Nuclear Power be Imperative” (Final Draft)

A series of movements are happening in Taiwan recently, the acceptance of Nuclear power has provokes public awareness. 

Nowadays, the supply of coal is decreasing and the price is increasing. The Taiwanese government is facing a dilemma that if they want to reduce the amount of energy produced by burning coal, they would have to find a replacement for it.

Unlike any other non-renewable energy resources, such as fossil fuels. Nuclear power has been considered as an innovative way to generate electricity. According to Stewart Brand, founder of the Whole Earth Catalog magazine, he suggests nuclear power to be the future trend because it creates sufficient energy and leave only a small amount of nuclear waste per person.

 Knowing, the stability of the nuclear reactors as well as the safety of radiations. Many scientific experts and ordinary citizens begin to question the processing of a nuclear power plant. Citizens like us claims that if any accident happened, it could result in unimaginable catastrophe similar to Fukushima.

 Eventually, according to a survey conducted over NCU students. One science department student says that Taiwan has not yet capable of handling nuclear power. Moreover, one English department student claims that Taiwan does not even need more nuclear power plant to generate electricity.

It is obvious that the majority of the Taiwanese University students are against nuclear power. It is no doubt, a huge safety risk for all the residents of Taiwan to afford. We should come up with some other low-risk and earth friendly energy proposal instead.   

   

Group's Advice About the News

Problems
1.Contents are clear and direct, but the article is kind of incoherent.
2.You may change your title to be more connected to your article.
3.Ending must be strong.
4.In one of the paragraph "Moreover, one student claims that Taiwan does not even
 need more nuclear power plant to generate electricity." The provider- one student can you be more specific.

Improvements
1. I will try to rearrange the order of the paragraphs. What I did earlier was trying to use opposite sources to support my main point.
2.I will try to come up with a more strong and related title. Related more to the main point.
3.I did not come up with a strong thesis, so I will work on one to constructs my news.
4.I will pay more attention to the details and make them more specific, so it could be more convincing.
 

“Nuclear Power Plants Occupied Taiwan?” (Revised)

A series of movements are happening in Taiwan recently, the acceptance of Nuclear power has provokes public awareness.  

Nuclear power has recently being considered as an innovative way to generate electricity. According to Stewart Brand, founder of the Whole Earth Catalog magazine, he suggests nuclear power to be the future trend because it creates sufficient energy and leave only a small amount of nuclear waste per person.

Unfortunately, the stability of the nuclear reactors as well as the safety of radiations has been questioned by scientific experts and ordinary citizens. Citizens like us claims that if any accident happened, it could result in unimaginable catastrophe similar to Fukushima.

Knowing, the supply of coal is decreasing and the price is increasing. The Taiwanese government is facing a dilemma that if they want to reduce the amount of energy produced by burning coal, they would have to find a replacement for it.

Eventually, according to a survey conducted over NCU students from different regions of Taiwan, every one of the students all held strong opposition against the fourth plant. One of the science department students says that Taiwan has not yet has the techniques to handle nuclear power. Moreover, one student claims that Taiwan does not even need more nuclear power plant to generate electricity.